Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
