it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
