they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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