Well douche your snatch and let's go!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
