Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
