I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
