i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
