He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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