K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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