4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
