So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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