Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
