I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just high enough for therapy.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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