My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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