Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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