So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
