Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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