i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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