I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
