A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
