never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
