i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
