So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
