I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
