who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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