quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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