It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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