Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
