So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
