Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
