ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
