i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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