I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
