it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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