i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
