thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
