I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
