what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
