I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
