He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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