The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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