College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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