I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
