Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
