About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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