do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
