hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
