Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
