You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
