I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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